It’s not just about sex; it’s about feeling as though your wellbeing doesn’t matter, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. The first step might be changing the goalRead more Leading questionsI have been married for 38 years. Three years after we married my wife told me that sex was out of the question as she had married me for companionship not lust. We have two daughters from that first three years. It was her choice to have children. I love my wife and daughters dearly. Since then we have had no intercourse, in fact, no sex play of any type whatsoever. She told me she has no interest and despite years of asking and years of suggesting counselling, she has not accepted either. I am totally destroyed by all of this but can see no course of action. What can I do?Eleanor says: Three options for how sex appears in the rest of your life: you and your wife have sex; you have sex with someone who isn’t your wife; you have no sex ever again. There are no options besides these. Continue reading...